OK, so I know I promised a funny, albeit embarrassing post before we left. Will you still love me if I promise to post it when we get back? I'm just not feeling it tonight.
Instead, tonight I'm feeling only one thing: OVERWHELMED.
That sounds bad; that word often carries such negative connotations. In this instance, however, it's a good thing.
My heart is so, so full. I have blessed beyond measure with the out pour of love and support from my friends and family. People I haven't spoken to in years have come out of the woodwork to support and encourage us. And every time that I've felt the edges of doubt starting to creep in, someone has called, or texted, or facebooked, or e-mailed, or left a blog comment, or shown up at my door. And with each new message and word of encouragement, God is confirming that this is the right thing. This is His plan for us right now. And while I completely realize that in the big scheme of things the work I do and the difference I make in Uganda will be extremely minimal, I still know that this is the only option I have; I have been called to go and to do whatever it is that I can to make a difference with what I have.
My biggest source of concern and nervousness?
My girls, of course.
Oh, how I love these babies. And while I know they'll be well taken care of, it's just hard. I've been away from them before, but five days has been my limit. This will be more than double that. And it's scary. I could be consumed with a long series of 'what if' questions. But I'm choosing to trust God. If He has called us to go, then He has also called our girls to be prepared to have parents who will go. 'They will be fine' is playing on repeat in my head.
Instead of focusing on how much I will miss them and the chaotic life we often lead here, I am focusing on this:
There's that verse again.....the one that calls to me in my sleep and never really leaves the forefront of my thoughts. I am ready to give and to use until I simply can't give or use any more. I've been asked a LOT of questions lately in regards to our trip, but the one that has stood out the most is WHY? Why would we go to Africa to serve this children and these people a world away?
Simple. If those were my babies, I'd want someone to come. I'd want them to drop everything, and sacrifice, and sell a ton of t-shirts, and paint canvases until they can't paint canvases any more, and rearrange everything, and leave their own children and the comfort of their cushy beds and comfy, air-conditioned homes, get a ton of shots, fly across the ocean, and come.
Although we won't know for sure what we'll be doing until we get there, we're hoping the following will be on the agenda:
-a visit to more than one of the children's prisons and time to serve there
-attending church (I am so stinkin' excited about this. Church in Africa? Sign me up yesterday.)
-a day trip to Jinja, where we'll get to see the Nile River
-serving in a children's school. This one is especially exciting to me seeing as how summer school ended today, meaning that I may have taught for the very last time today. How could will it be if instead my last time to teach is in AFRICA?
-loving on as many precious babies as is physically possible
Oh, and did you know that next Tuesday, the day we will arrive in Uganda, Lee and I will celebrate our anniversary? Yes, I'm serious. What a better way to celebrate our time together than in serving.
This verse is on our fridge. And although I look at it every day, it stood out to me tonight.
I am so ready to see what I do not know.